Deep in Peru
There's a hole in the ground,
The darkest and dankest
That's never been found.
It's the evilmost
And falls two thousand miles
From its tip
To its toe…...
500 miles of snails and slugs,
500 more of bats and bugs.
Then one thousand miles, damp and dark,
Of things that growl, and things that bark,
Things that creep, and things that slide,
Things that crouch, and things that hide
In cracks and other dingy places
With evil grins upon their faces.
Baring yellow teeth they dribble,
Waiting for a tasty nibble:
A juicy bite of foe or friend
is savoured right until the end.
I’ve heard it said the Warty Gubby
(The lady often eats her hubby)
Can send a creature into raptures
With its taste when it is captured –
Cooked in garlic and slightly salted,
Apparently it can’t be faulted.
Now, deep down in this fearsome hole,
When all is dark and night unfolds,
The only sound that can be heard
(Quite unlike man, or fish, or bird)
Is the deafening rumble-roaring
Of 20 million monsters snoring.
But surely scariest of all –
Worse than Yellow Tiger Spiders,
Worse that Stinging Acid Beetles,
And even worse, or so I’m told,
Than the dreaded Hook-nosed Squip
Which gives a very nasty nip
Yes, the very worst of all of these,
Enough to make you shake your knees,
Is worse than any snake or bug:
It is the loathsome Vampire Slug.